I recorded this mix

in 1997, at age 22, for my childhood friend Garth

Garth and I

were preoccupied with escaping from our hometown, St. George, Utah

Back in 1997

there was still such a thing as a music store

The internet was completely new to me

I had only been using it for a few months

I created this mix

a few months before I moved to NYC for graduate school — i.e., just before my big escape from Utah


is a central theme in this mix

Now that I live in NYC

I’m preoccupied with escaping from here too

I’m always wrapped up in an escape fantasy

I don’t think that’s a completely bad thing

Escape fantasies help us to cope with life’s challenges

they also provide us with important information

Any time I find myself wrapped up in an escape fantasy, I can ask myself

what is this escape fantasy teaching me about myself? what is it telling me about my wants, my needs, my desires?

And then I can consider

how can I honor those wants, needs, and desires today, in the here and now, within this very moment I am experiencing, right now?


 1997 Analog Tape \\ 2018 DiJiFi Remaster



Song 1

Song 2

Song 3

Song 4

a gentle river flows. a possible sunrise awaits. it slowly evolves, changes, comes into view. i become aware of how entirely ready i am to love you. i get chills all over my body just from the mere thought of you. i worship you. there is nothing else i could do. i kneel before you, before this landscape. beauty unfolds before us, within us